The Isolated

Have you ever wondered how many people actually care about you? Not that many people, huh? It only really happens when you're feeling isolated. Well, I am right now.

The kind of feeling where you think nobody really listens to you, or cares what you have to say. The kind of feeling where there never seems to be anyone to talk to.

I used to talk to Serena so often. Even when she was too busy to talk, hearing her say "I can't talk right now" was fine enough for me. Just hearing her voice at all would make my day worth it. But it's been close to a month, and I haven't heard it. I haven't even received any news from her lately. She doesn't seem to like online means of communication.

Still a month and a day before I return to Miramichi. I can't wait to get back and be able to call her again... Hopefully I'll be able to talk to her, anyway... If I don't, then it might turn out to be a very depressing second year in college, as I'll really be alone once again, and who knows for how long?

Now, if you'll excuse me, I need a shower.

"Ah, to be young again... and also a robot." -- Professor Hubert Farnsworth, "Futurama"


The Pain

Well, I thought I was on vacation from the crab shop. Turns out...not really. The count gets knocked up by another bad day, too. I'm starting to think that I'm allergic to crabs. Because of that, I am taking off work tomorrow, and if I should be working on Thursday, trying an allergy pill and see if that'll help.

It's now been 21 days since I last talked to Serena, and it's still 35 days until I get to talk to her again. I miss her so much right now... She's such a great person to talk to... When we get to talk, I don't care if we don't even have anything to say. It just makes me happy to hear her voice.

And talk about a voice, too. It's like listening to rain pouring on a glass rooftop... Gah, I can do better than that...

It is a voice that I could listen to forever... I have also heard her sing... She says that she does not sing that well, but I think that she has a beautiful singing voice. She could sing a lullaby and it would have effect within a half-minute.

I hate having to be so far away from her... One day, I hope that we'll be able to get together... Until then, there's always the dream...

"If for any reason you're not satisfied with our service, I hate you." -- 7-11 clerk, "Futurama"
See Also: The Count The Girl


The Fund

Some more personal information is in order, I suppose, to add reference to this story of mine.

Well, most of my money from work (a very high percentage, in fact) is going towards a savings fund which I intend to use to fly to Oklahoma. I so far have about $288, some of which from the remnants of my college loan (yes, I know, not a good idea), and the rest from my first paycheck for the summer.

Now, looking at my posts so far, you'd have to think that there's something bad about all this, right?

Bingo. I've been put on vacation until August 8th due to consistent understocking at the shop. Meaning, though I'll be having plenty of time to myself, I'm not getting paid, and this will get my fund nowhere. Plus, living in the middle of nowhere as I do, there's no way I'm gonna find a job while waiting for the vacation to end.

So, I'll be getting my second pay tomorrow, and for the next three weeks or so, I won't be able to stuff the fund any further.

Must there really always be some sort of problem putting itself between me and my goals? All I want to do is meet Serena in real life...

"I can't take his money, I can't print my own money, I have to work for my money. Why don't I just lay down and die?" -- Homer J. Simpson, "The Simpsons"


The Girl

Let us talk about another source of unhappiness in my life.

There's this girl in my life... Let's call her Serena, for privacy's sake. (In case you're not following, this is not her real name.) Well, I've been talking to her over the phone for about six months, and I've grown very close to her.

This doesn't seem unhappy, you say?

Well, in that perspective, no. But there are two things to keep in mind... One, she lives all the way out in Oklahoma, while I'm stuck here in New Brunswick. With little money and no personal transportation otherwise, there's no way I'll be able to see her for some time.

Secondly, I'm only able to call her during my college time, when my phone bill is mine. Here at home, I don't have my own line, so I don't get to call anywhere but locally. It's been about two and a half weeks since I last talked to her, and I miss her very much.

So, yeah, that's what I meant by the stress at work. I am basically at loss emotionally because I've lost touch with Serena at least until September. I just hope she's not disappointed in me, and we can keep talking to each other come September.

"They put me on the 'Waiting to Exhale' waiting list, but told me not to hold my breath." -- Homer J. Simpson, "The Simpsons"

I'll soon be adding a section in my sidebar called "Reference Guide" which will allow you to see what I mean in future posts when I mention something happening.


The Count

Well, now, let's keep a count, shall we?

First, I'm gonna have to tell you about my job. I work in this crab factory, doing random work, such as cleaning crates, storing stuff, and other jobs that I won't get into. (You don't want me to get into them, trust me.)

So, today, I was sanitizing the crates. But wouldn't you know it, the very first thing the boss told me was that there might be a bit too much cleaner in the water I was using. Didn't affect me before lunch, felt like hell after lunch.

That would be the third (this is the count) time in 10 working days where I come out feeling like a truck hit me. I've been to that shop for the last two summers (not counting this one), and I've never quite felt this ill this frequently. Needless to say, I'm not only getting sick of my job, I'm beginning to get sick from my job, too. Maybe it's the stress.

Yeah, with my job, thoughts of the hectic schedule of the upcoming college year, and other things, I've had the planet on my shoulders for a while.

Aaaand I just bit my tongue. Ow, ow, ow.

Maybe tomorrow, I'll get into the deeper stuff. I only feel like explaining one new thing today.

"Fine. I'll build my own space park. With blackjack. And hookers. In fact, forget the park!" -- Bender Bending Rodriguez unit 22, "Futurama"


The Prologue

Hey, everyone! I'm Kewlio, if you don't know, and this is my new blog. Seeing as the Gaim plugin for blogger is in working order now, I'll be able to make some posts on here this time.

So, today, I won't be blabbing on about very much. Nothing happened anyway, I spent the day on Futurama and involuntary napping. Oh, what fun.

Don't worry, though, I have a lot to complain about, and I'll be starting tomorrow. I'm almost sure that something at work is gonna piss me off in some way. And it probably won't even be the fact that I have to work on a Saturday.

I'll be having some other recurring features too, which I shall not be getting into at this point in time, but don't you worry, it'll get there.

Anyhow, I hope that my misery can entertain you. :P Ain't entertaining me, that's for sure.

"It'll be all right, Bender. There's no such thing as two." -- Philip J. Fry, "Futurama"